White Rabbits, Nov. 6, 2009 at the Biltmore Cabaret

November 19, 2009 by alyssanoel

The guy in the middle actually looks like a rabbit!

We used to live here.

Not here in this dimly-lit, low-ceiling music club, which was actually a dirty pool hall/sketchy dive bar back then. But we lived down the street in a pretty dilapidated house with mould in the bathroom and a mouse infestation. (It had a couch and a chalk board on the front porch and, at the time, there was literally no one else willing to rent to us. All three of these things made it pretty appealing.)

The Biltmore Cabaret, had it existed then, would’ve been my second home. Instead of making the questionable trek from Mount Pleasant to Richard’s on Richards (RIP) or the Commodore Ballroom downtown by myself so often, I could’ve slammed half a bottle of Painted Turtle (oh, who am I kidding? I’d obviously finish the whole thing) and happily skip down the street.

I think it’s true for most music fans that for every lonely city they live in there’s at least one venue that provides refuge. Where you walk in and get swallowed into a warm, comfortable gut. Where you stand shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers you obviously have something in common with, even if it’s unspoken. Where you have a place to be lonely, but not alone.

That might be sad. But, it’s the truth and it is mostly why I live in Edmonton.

Now, back in Vancouver for a quick, cheapish getaway, seeing the rows upon rows of upcoming concerts (fucking Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros!), I can’t help but miss it.

Bands like White Rabbits don’t come to Edmonton. They likely never will unless they manage to reach mid-level fame, ensuring they can attract a solid crowd from Vancouver to Montreal, so the daunting journey is worth their while.

The show is sold out. There are cans of Pabst floating around everywhere. I don’t think people are trying to be ironic. They are likely poor. It isn’t cheap to live here, unless you’re willing to share your home with rodents, which, for a while, we were.

Jordan goes up to the bar to get a beer and the bartender automatically pulls out a Pabst.

“Was it my 99 cent toque that gave it away?” he asks, jokingly.

The bartender smiles and points at his own head. “Hey man, I’ve got the same one.”

I know neither Local Natives, the openers, nor White Rabbits well. I’ve heard a few of their songs and really like the first singles. Here, people do that. They look for new bands. They’re hungry for the next thing.  And this time, they chose well.

Local Natives are fantastic. The small room becomes a mess of bobbing heads and bouncing bodies almost instantly. I’m not a great judge of many things, but if there are self-conscious hipsters in the crowd, it seems they’ve abandoned inhibitions.

When they play Sun Hands to wrap it up, people go nuts. So as the drummer tosses the crowd around with his beat, someone on stage, fittingly, encourages us to “dance until our nuts fall off.” We do – and continue to as White Rabbits play.

They, too, surpass expectations.

I thrust my hands deep into my pockets and wear the same big, stupid grin I had on this morning when I ran around Stanley Park, taking in the familiar cliffs, ocean tankers and smell of salt water.

It is nice to have this cloak of anonymity again. No one here knows us. We are anybody. But in that hippy-shit way that everyone outside of Vancouver thinks is commonplace here, we are also everybody. The crowd is so genuinely excited about the goings on on stage you can’t help but feel part of it.

And, oh, Percussion Gun sounds so great live. There are two drummers: one hunched over a kit and another hovering over a set, banging the living shit out of them in unison. It actually feels like someone is rattling off bullets.

Later, for old time’s sake, we make our way to Uncle Fatih’s at the corner of Commercial Drive and Broadway for ridiculously cheap artichoke pizza. If there are two things Vancouver does well it’s music and pizza by-the-slice. And, while I’m here, I’m not about to miss out on either.

Dan Mangan, Oct. 30, 2009 at The Haven Social Club

November 1, 2009 by alyssanoel
dan_mangan_hr

You know you're a Canadian indie singer when your promo shot is taken in your kitchen.

Jessica is a peacock with well-cut bangs and a new skirt.

But instead of feathers, she has what appear to be about 200 teeth packed into her mouth, all on display for the object of her affection.

The intended recipient: a burly fellow with a reckless beard who could pass for Seth Rogen’s thinner brother. He is also known as Dan Mangan, an indie singer-songerwriter from Vancouver and, dammit, his show better be good.

We traveled to Stony Plain Road for this and you do not travel to Stony Plain Road for medicore. There are shankings to worry about. And low-end prostitution rings one could find oneself recruited into, if one is not careful. (“Do you think the venue has an ATM?” one of us asked. “Well, you can’t pay a hooker with a cheque,” another reasoned.)

But the look on Jessica’s face as I watch her watch him watching the delicate Nelson-raised duo on stage says, “I’d take a shank to the spleen any day for you, Dan.”

And so already it is worth it.

An elderly woman, who I sincerely suspect is actually a man transitioning into a woman, is dancing in front of the ankle-high stage, obstructing views. The hundred seated patrons say nothing. No one, in fact, is saying anything – on any topic at all.

This is one of the top five weirdest venues I have ever been to. (First place in that category is a possibly now-defunct bar in Vancouver’s downtown eastside where I once saw Shout Out, etc. A presumably crack-addicted homeless man wandered around the indie kid-filled room attempting to sell a TV he was schlepping about. There were also used needles on the bathroom floor.)

It is pin-drop quiet. We fiddle with the ATM – barely able to see the buttons in the dimly-lit room – and attract attention. It is awkward. I am not good at masquerading as a quiet person. And shushing at shows is probably my biggest pet peeve.

But as we nestle in by the bar, pints cradled, I see the appeal of shutting the fuck up, for once.

The woman continues dancing. She’s waving her arms attempting something between a hippie sway and an old-timer jig.

“Sometimes,” Jessica says, peeling her eyes away from Dan, “I love Edmonton. Sometimes, it feels like home, you know?”

And I do.

On the surface, this is a nondescript dive on sketchy street, but climb down the stairs and here’s this transfixed audience, listening to clever lyrics while watching a robot that was apparently gleaned from a flea market in Saskatchewan cast weird blinking lights around the room.

We soon learn Dan is good. Better than good. He is relaxed, but his music doesn’t suffer for it. He is funny, but his banter still sincere and off-the-cuff. The venue actually seems pretty perfect with his sweet then romping then sad songs filling it up and sucking us in.

And this crowd! They can clap! In time! They are straight A students and I am cheating off them, staring at a guy in the front row, following his hands so I can sing and clap along at the same time. (It’s a curse I inherited from my mum. It gets embarrassing for all of us.)

And then he pulls out the bag. I knew it was coming. In fact, it was kind of a selling point for me. More than almost anything else in this world I love beating on makeshift (or actual) instruments while a little drunk among strangers. Jessica and I flail our arms wildly, hoping he’ll toss us a tambourine or whatever it is he’s tossing at people (it hardly matters.) But lurking in the corner, we are overlooked. It’s OK. We clap and stamp and sing loudly about the robots – like the little white one blinking on stage – who really need love too.

Afterwards we say hi. Good set. I take a photo of them together. Her: grinning and triumphant. Him: tired but happy.

The next day, the high of stumbling upon such an unexpectedly fulfilling show will stay with me. I’ll listen to my newly-acquired copy of Nice, Nice, Very Nice while I run through the river valley. There will be sun streaking down on wet paths and falling leaves and, suddenly, Edmonton will look like the possible-tranny granny: a little rough around the edges at first, but, upon second glance, clearly just looking for a good time.

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And they lived happily ever after.

Rascal Flatts, Oct. 26, 2009 at Rexall Place* (*please don’t read this if you: a) like country and still want to like me or b) are offended by the word cunt.)

October 27, 2009 by alyssanoel
Rascal+Flatts+RF+138

What I wouldn't do for some Photoshop skills right now.

Oh God, we are cunts.

It feels wonderful and I’m not apologizing. Officially, I’m approaching this show in a professional, unbiased manner. But in real life we are whispering snarky comments and giggling at the expense of the people on stage.

The paunchy, sparkling singer first appeared a few minutes ago and Kaley and I looked at each other, wide-eyed, disbelieving: “Bedazzled pants,” we exhaled, as the oblivious crowd roared. “He is willingly wearing jeans that someone took a Goddamn beddazler to.”

I am eternally grateful she agreed to come with me. If she hadn’t I would be sitting in this giant arena –  next to this girl who smells like Nair and is clutching a straw cowboy hat – all alone with mean, mean thoughts rolling around in my head, burning to come out.

I’m reviewing the show for the paper and she is my plus one. She offered to come. At first, I thought she would be my roadmap in this foreign territory.  At first, I turned to her with every new song, brows furrowed in a silent attempt to ask, ‘Hey what is the name of this terrible pop-country drivel?”

Some she knew, others she didn’t.  But some I knew and others I didn’t too. It is not my fault. I grew up in rural Alberta. You learned this shit through osmosis. I cannot tell you how many times in my adulthood I have heard a country a song released before 2002 and baffled myself by knowing the words.

Yes, yes, some I actively listened to, but many – most – I did not.  My relationship with country music is long, storied and, apparently, not over.

Either way, I realize that Kaley is more my contemporary than tour guide when the following exchange takes place:

Me:  “Hey, where’d bedazzly pants go? He’s not on stage anymore.”

She: “Oh, he went to re-frost his tips.”

(Alternatively)

Me:  “Hey, where’d bedazzly pants go? He’s not on stage anymore.”

She: “Oh, he went to find his puka shell necklace.”

This crowd of tweens and dancing middle-aged women would not like us if they knew the truth. I mostly don’t care. I have no desire to befriend anyone who longs to rip off the sparkly pants of a pudgy dude who looks like he might have meant to become a Backstreet Boy.

Perhaps, this makes me cunty and I can live with that.

The highlight of the show was, surprisingly, Mr. Hootie and the Blowfish who opened up the evening with some of his crossover country songs. Oh, it wasn’t so much his music, but rather the first moment he launched into the ol’ H & TB hit, Let Her Cry.

I was shocked when it felt like a warm hug. (No, I’m not being facetious!) My dad had a copy of Cracked Review Mirror that mostly stayed in his work truck. I have absolutely no idea why I would be emotionally attached to this song – I have no future plans or desires to listen to it ever again – but in that moment the snarkiness melted away.

There is also the possibility that I might just be racist.

Maybe, despite the fact that Obama has been elected and we’re apparently in a post-racial era and all that, maybe I just feel bad ripping into a black man singing country songs.

But, for real, do black men sing country? Is this some kind of first?

I don’t think I pose this question to Kaley, probably because she wouldn’t know the answer.

We like this, we decide. He is wearing a baseball cap and he reminds us of our childhood.

He shall be spared.

As for the sparkling man?

Well, I am writing a review for a few extra dollars in hopes that the next time I get $400 worth of traffic tickets, I don’t have to sob until my guts come out my throat, prompting my mother to uncharacteristically scold, “I can make out about four of the words you are saying. You need to calm down.”

And he, on the other hand, is going to go home to bathe in filthy wads of cash.

We’re about even.

Shout Out Out Out Out, Oct. 10, 2009 at the Starlite Room

October 14, 2009 by alyssanoel
Support local... crotch grabbers?

Support local... crotch grabbers?

From what I can remember, I’ve only ever cried at a show once.

It was something like 10 years ago at the Shaw Conference Centre. Everclear and a then-unknown Nickelback (yeah, yeah, wince, groan) were playing and Breanne, a handful of friends and I convinced someone’s mom to pack us into a minivan and haul us to The City from Bonnyville.

The three hour after-school trek meant I missed dinner and thus passed out on the keep-away gate between the crowd and the stage. (I even ate meat back then, so there.) One of the security guards pulled me over the gate and brought me to the first aid tent where I assured the paramedics I wasn’t soused or on drugs. But when I returned to the guard to let me back to my hard-earned front row spot, he explained that ain’t the way it works.

I burst into tears and wandered to the loser bleachers crying. Turns out all the hoopla had triggered Bre’s asthma and she was also tearfully milling about. We found each other, decided to make the best of it and that was the last of my (non-alcohol-related) concert scenes.

Until last Saturday.

I’m with Kaley and Jordan and somewhere in the room are at least a half dozen other friends and family members. This was supposed to be my 25th birthday celebration – until I stumbled into a surprise party the night before. We went ahead as planned anyways, drinking too much beforehand and arriving near midnight, marking my actual birthday.

We have lost Breanne and Jenna. They are here somewhere, but we have been separated. Kaley and I send close to a million texts informing them we’re front right side of the stage waiting patiently. (Later we discover the grammar and spelling in the texts was somehow impeccable, but at least ¾ of them went to unintended recipients.)

They will eventually show up, breathless and confused, but in the meantime, Kaley lifts up the now-infamous red curtain and shouts at the legs of someone who is setting up: “IT IS MY SISTER’S BIRTHDAY.”

The legs don’t answer, but we’re not offended.

The show starts after midnight on my actual day of birth. We take note then begin dancing immediately.

The thing about Shout Out Out Out Out is I’ve seen them both inebriated and (mostly) sober and, frankly, I cannot tell most of their songs apart. I’m not trying to offer criticism. I’m merely setting the scene: It is always, always a blur of flashing lights, distorted vocals, shout out chants, sweaty hipsters and electronic noise.

And tonight, it turns out, is no different. Which I like. The surprise party was wonderful, but now I just want to slip quietly from youth to real adulthood.

I don’t know when it happened. It was sometime after spotting Sam and a group of his friends jumping around shirtless and grinning like imps. Sometime after Sam reportedly instructed Jordan to lift up his arms then, in a seamless swooping motion expertly pulled off his shirt too. Sometime after I stared in drunken disbelief at my boyfriend – a man who does not regularly take off his shirt in public – who had joined the grinning shirtless imps (he later told me that look shamed him into putting his shirt back on, though, that wasn’t my intention.)

It was after all those things.

The tears arrive unannounced, literally out nowhere. I’m staring at a light or speaker or some kind of apparatus with numbers in the 20s on it. I think I reach out and flip it to the number 25. I’m not trying to be symbolic, just drunk and stupid.

And suddenly it hits me: I’m fucking 25. I’m 25 and what do I have to show for it? I’m drunk and dancing like I did the year before and the one before that a few before that too. Should I be like those people with babies and husbands?

I am not particularly interested in babies and husbands right now, but should I be?

Breanne spots me and ushers me to the bathroom.

“Is it grandpa?” she asks. “Is it because we had the first Thanksgiving without grandpa?”

I shake my head. I don’t know.

She gives up quick. She is in no shape for this. At Thanksgiving dinner earlier in the day she had an allergy attack and my grandma gave her what she said was Benadryl stored in a prescription bottle. However, my grandma also once told me there was no meat in her stuffing. I believed her too – until I hit a chunk of turkey. Christ only knows what cocktail of medication and, erm, cocktails is floating around inside her right now.

We go back upstairs and the tears are still rolling down my face. I’m not making noises, not making a real scene, but I’m clearly distraught.

Jordan sees me and we leave.

On the cab ride home – tears still spouting uncontrollably out of my head – we get a barrage of texts from various people.

They’re going home. Hope we understand. They’re tired.

Good. No one noticed.

Eventually I fall sleep amidst balled up Kleenexes and leftover pizza.

When I wake up I’m officially 25. And in the morning light it feels, well, mostly just like 24… but with a bit of a hangover.

The Gaslight Anthem, Sept. 26, 2009 at Edmonton Event Centre

October 5, 2009 by alyssanoel
gaslight

"Don't fall Brian Fallon ... Unless it's for me."

We are fighting. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Everyone’s irritated by it too. But fuck em’ because I am right and she – little pixie-haired, doe-eyed sister who turns fierce as fuck under such circumstances – is wrong.

It was stupid, the way these things usually are. There was a phone call, a text message, poorly communicated plans. Now, I’m here at this terrible venue in this God-forsaken mall drinking an $86 can of beer worried about ruining this night.

Oh God, how this band soaked into the very fibres of my being over the summer. From the first moment I heard The ’59 Sound– in the parking lot of Safeway during a coffee run at work/seeking momentary reprieve from the newsroom – the first lyrics, first notes, socked me in the stomach and I was suddenly 16 and the world, my future, looked the way it did before I learned The Way Things Work.

So tonight, after begging a colleague to switch me shifts, after a summer of compulsive listening, I’m finally here, among the under-18 set in what was once the World’s Biggest Mall.

She has not arrived yet. Neither has Littlest Sister who is making a rare appearance at a show where we found rare common ground, along with Little Cousin. They are roommates at college this year. More like sisters, really. That’s what this night was supposed to be: a warm coming-together of various family members and friends for this band whose biggest claim-to-fame is uniting large swaths of unlikely people.

The Springsteen comparisons aren’t for naught.

My shaking foot and nervous sips will, of course, turn out to be for nothing. Frank Turner will play a strange, rousing set and Little Sister will arrive. We will ignore each other for a bit, which is tough considering almost every one of our friends are mutual. Then Littlest Sister will arrive and the novelty of having us all together will prompt me to purchase and offer the best kind of olive branch: vodka.

Tyler will try to poach the olive branch, but it will ultimately hit Little Sister’s lips and work its magic.

Two bands later, we are all standing with the teens near the front of the stage in the all ages section. The warm glowy feeling – one part genuine, one part beer buzz, one part anticipation – has, thankfully, arrived. I am as giddy as the teens.

The band walks on and everyone loses their shit as Brian Fallon approaches the mike. It is wonderfully genuine. The first song is High Lonesome. Everyone knows every fucking word. I forgot what this was like.

I sing along so loudly, so unselfconsciously and so does everyone else because, frankly, who doesn’t “kinda sorta wish” they were someone else?

Things progress. Fallon quips that “this is some mall” and I want so badly to explain that, despite what everyone outside of this city believes, the mall is not a Point of Pride for those of us with any interests beyond The Gap.

But my argument is contradicted by the cheers of two large guys with backwards baseball hats moshing like we’re at a goddamn cock rock show.

They appeared out of nowhere and single-handedly shifted the warm glowy mood to one of seething anti-jock rage. They are bouncing heartily next to Little Sister. You can see she wants to kill.

Suddenly, Tyler, ever the protector, swoops in and pushes them in a “come-along-now-boys” manner. They think it’s part of the fun. Tyler is not against them! He’s with them! Part of the Shoving Party!

Thankfully, they depart. Honestly, I feel a twinge of guilt. After all, it was only four days ago that I was the douchebag others wished to expel.

As if on cue, the band – oddly, inexplicably – meld their current song into The Hold Steady’s You Can Make Him Like You. I’m completely dumbstruck. It lasts for only a moment, offering fans of both bands a wink-wink, nudge-nudge opportunity, but I take it as a message from the Music Gods.

“Here,” they’re saying. “Here is a do-over. Act like a human being and your sins have been absolved.”

I repent.

Later on, the band plays an even more obscure sample when they launch into part of Lyle Lovett’s If I had a Boat. The crowd is suddenly separated into young and old, those with music knowledge beyond present day and those who have never even heard of the craggy-faced music legend.

I am smug and over the moon.

Then we hear The Backseat and we are instantly back to being fans of this band. And suddenly, I know the secret to how they attract both the older married couple behind me and the barely-15 year old clutching her camera phone near hysterics in front of me. Both Littlest Sister, who has only ever been to maybe two shows with me before, and Little Sister who I might as well carry around in my pocket.

“You know the summer always brought in that wild and reckless breeze. And in the backseat we just tried to find some room for our knees,” Fallon sings.

And we all sing along because it’s true for all of us.

The Hold Steady, Sept. 21, 2009 at The Starlite Room

October 5, 2009 by alyssanoel
Erm, I'm new at this. How do you give credit on these things? Well, just be aware I clearly didn't take it.

This is more like it...

It was supposed to be an epic show.

It was, after all, The Hold Steady : The men who glorify double-whisky-coke-no-ice, encourage us all to pop pills till we need our stomachs pumped and then, later, make second-rate pipes out of recyclables. The whole room was supposed to look like the cover to Boys and Girls in America: beautiful people bear-hugging their fleeting youth, hands in the air, streamers flittering down on it all.

I’m standing next to Mariel and next to me, on my right, is a girl in a black cardigan. Her boyfriend is behind her. Mariel thinks she is being quiet, but she is being anything but quiet when she encourages me to “push that bitch over a little so we can get closer.”

The bitch hears. She is not impressed.

I mumble a half-ass apology. I can tell she’s pissed, but fuck her! It’s The Hold Steady! We can curse and push and double fist! Anything goes!

In the midst of all the pushing and cursing and double fisting, I spill a bit of beer … on black cardigan girl’s black cardigan.

She officially hates us now. Look at her eyes, wishing she could shoot daggers or laser beams or perhaps lift me up and move me somewhere far, far away. To Oil City across the street, maybe. Probably.

I slur another apology. She accepts, but then whispers mean things about me to her boyfriend. I don’t care. The room is so warm and full of people poised to enjoy this wonderful musical offering.

Then finally – finally! – the red, crushed velvet curtain opens and they’re standing right in front of me, feet from the bottles I just drained and placed next to the speaker. I am too awestruck to pay attention to minor details, like what song is this?

Craig Finn is so perfect in his imperfection. He’s wearing a plaid shirt and his goofy glasses and he’s pointing at us and singing. He looks so much like Bubbles from the Trailer Park Boys, but it just makes him more endearing.

I am very drunk. Stationed between the speakers, pressed up against the newly- renovated, extremely tall stage, I realize I cannot hear much. But no matter! I know these words. I know them like a friend, like a sister, like my sister, who is somewhere behind me, slurring along and swaying along and enjoying this show we looked forward to all summer.

The liquor continues to saturate my blood. I can feel it, somehow. How am I getting more drunk without drinking more? It must be like … a Hold Steady machine, constructed solely to make the air thinner, make us feel the liquor more intensely because that’s how these songs are best appreciated.

This continues. Craig Finn isn’t talking much to us. Something isn’t right. It’s not big enough, the night, I mean. It was supposed to be bigger than this. There are no streamers or drugs and, frankly, the band seems kind of sober.

Then I remember something a friend from Ottawa once said. He said towards the end of the show the band pulls people on stage. Everyone dances and sings and it’s a real shitshow experience. They must be building up to this.

More songs pass and they are good. I am smiling. I am dancing. I am not spilling any more beer. Then, suddenly, You Can Make Him Like You comes on and, Oh God, it’s a sign. This is it. This is a sign. They definitely want us on stage dancing with them!

Breanne agrees. Jordan agrees. I will be the first to go. Jordan, being the excellent boyfriend he is, grabs my ass and launches me on stage. Then there’s a flurry of limbs, my own and someone else’s. An angry someone else’s. What! Wait! Stop! This is not how this is to pan out! Do you not know the plan?

The bouncer grabs my arm, hard. I shrug him off aggressively and swear a little. He grabs my wrist and forces his finger under my orange entry bracelet. With a little snap, it falls sadly to the ground. I see Breanne behind me, suffering the same horrible fate.

We will run back in! There’s the entrance, so close! We just need to turn around, deek skillfully under the mean bouncer’s beefy arm and break through the crowd. We can do this! We have been practicing our entire lives.

I turn and thrust myself towards the bobbing heads, but alas, my arm is back in the grips of the now much angrier bouncer. He tosses me outside.

The entire time, my mind keeps alternating between two thoughts: “You are too old for this” and “You are a disappointment to the woman who birthed you.”

And, behind me, there is Breanne. We are a disappointment to the woman who birthed us – too intense, too hopeful, too full of life for even The Hold Steady.

Let’s go home and eat chips.

Introduction

October 5, 2009 by alyssanoel
n517690911_109161_527

Party till you bleed.

I go to a lot of concerts. As many as I can, in fact. If an interesting band rolls through town and I’m not sitting at work, listening to police scanners and waiting for tragedy to strike dutifully covering the news, I’ll be there. Sometimes I get to write about those shows in a serious capacity for a local newspaper or interview those bands for a Toronto-based website/magazine, but more often than not I’m in the crowd taking in the show for my own benefit.

It occurred to me recently that interesting things sometimes transpire on the floors and in the seats of those shows – the story behind and around the main event. I was looking for a fun, light, non-murder-related writing project and thought, “Hey, I can write about the ridiculous shit we do at these concerts or, if that fails, the ridiculous shit other people do.”

So, I’ve decided to blog about every single concert I attend for the next year, beginning with a particularly ridiculous and embarrassing event that occurred when The Hold Steady came to town. Hence the blog name, ripped from the title of one of the band’s many great songs.

Some of these reviews/narratives/essays will be booze-fueled, but many will not be. Most will use people’s real names, but some will not.

My main goal is to have fun with writing and, hopefully, offer up some entertaining reading for people who love music as much as I do.